This February marked the thirteenth anniversary of the Nightmare that became my life for over a year when an ex decided that even though I was through with him, he was far from through with me. He continued the psychological torture he initiated in the waning days of our relationship via hateful and threatening emails. Since he was several hours away, couldn’t drive, and had no money for bus fare or even gas, I now realize I had more control over the situation than I thought. However, when you are twenty-three, in college, and live alone despite the masses of friends you have, a constant barrage of hate mail scares even the stable of people.
Now, at thirty-five, I look at the Friend Request from said ex and think, “What?” I talk it over with my husband of a decade plus and ask, “What do you think?” I ask my learned friends and colleagues, “What would you do?” And the resounding response is, “Run, run for the hills.”
Age may have started to wither my beauty and my grace is not as faultless as it once was, but with the passing of time the riches of wisdom gained from experience have settled in me. And that wisdom screams, “Listen to your friends. They know and love you well. They have your best interests at heart.” (My husband left the decision entirely to me but voiced his agreement with the Greek chorus.) So I denied, knowing, in my heart, this drama is only beginning.
Today, I received a message from the ex asking, “Why wouldn't you accept my Friend's Request?”
Let us take a moment. My first reaction was, “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!”
But I received more sage like advice from friends and decided not to respond, directly. I do, however need to express some sort of answer so as not to leave the door open. Here it is.
To Whom It Definitely Concerns:
I went to your page and realized that while I had grown and outgrown you over these past thirteen years, you have stagnated. I feel sorry for you because I saw a lot of potential in you despite your hateful and malicious views on the world. But as you insisted on staying in your self-destructive path, I knew that if I was to grown and move on, I couldn’t be saddled with the wearying task of trying to raise you into adulthood. I was tired and I needed to be with some one not be someone’s parent. I wasn’t ready to have my own children at 23 and didn’t feel like babying a grown man.
In the past dozen years, since the Nightmare ended, I have dreamt and realized almost all of my dreams. I married a loving and supportive man who has a stable personality and life. I have taught, written and been published, and found my art in costuming and selling my creations. I have friends I adore who return the same love and admiration without the strings you attached to everything when we were together.
This past January a tree fell on my husband’s and my car, breaking my neck and my arm. I had to have three life changing surgeries and am now only beginning to recover. I am in no mood for your manic depressive bullshit right now or ever. I wish you well in your life and hope things work out for you. I have no desire for romance, friendship, or acquaintance with you. Leave me alone and never contact me again. If you do I will have to take legal action.
- Current Mood: exhausted
I am at ten weeks in the neck brace. For those of you who don't know, I was in a bad car accident in January when a tree fell on our car while we were driving. Yes, the tree hit us, not vice versa.
I'm doing well, the biggest obstacle being losing some use in my right arm. Physical therapy and healing is restoring the movement and my physical therapist has suggested that I go to another facility where the use of a physical therapy machine can be incorporated into my routine. She was very positive and it seems this machine can help me accomplish in weeks what could take months in tradition PT.
Joe is doing well too though both of us are going a bit stir crazy with the beautiful spring weather. There's only so many movies and tv series you can watch without wanting to get out into the world more.
I'm looking forward to getting back to work though, I have news, I might be having a story I wrote and is being panelled by an artist in a graphic novel anthology coming out this fall so keep your fingers crossed. I also might have a story published in an independent anthology.
Oddly enough that is my little bit of news, except for the strange timing of a stalker ex from 12 years ago wanting to be added as a friend on my costuming account. The strange timing is that with the loss of my grandma this year and the accident, Joe and I decided to move back to St Jo to be closer to my family. We'd been kicking the idea since my grandpa passed away last year and I think it is time. But my Memphian friends shouldn't worry. No doubt with the move we'll actually see more of each other as Joe will be down for his job with me to tag along.
- Current Mood: hopeful
A little different style and more Zoe's color. It's longer as well.
For anyone interested the Browncoat pattern I have runs in sizes XS - XL. Some of you may be asking, "Just what the hell does that mean to me?" Here's the break down:
XS fits chest size 30" - 32"
S fits chest size 34" - 36"
M fits chest size 38" - 40"
L fits chest size 42" - 44"
XL fits chest size 46" - 48"
The chest size can also be interpreted as widest part of the body for those of us whose hips or bellies are a tad bigger than our chests. And to give you an example, the browncoat I made for my husband who is 5'9" is an XL and hits him mid- calf. On me it's to the bottom of my calf since I am 5'5". The pattern actually goes to my ankles (I shorten it to Mal's browncoat length) for anyone interested in a longer duster version. I reckon the coat will fit anyone from 5' to 6', depending on chest size and not look too funny. However, I still need some minimum measurements such as chest, height, and arm length (it's how I figure the cuff.) I also have smaller D rings to make the switch from ring to buckle easier. The latches on both sides are sewn to the coat but close with velcro on either side so that if you want to change the buckles or situate them differently you can.
If you fit into one of the standard sizes the price is $125 shipped by priotiry mail inside the Contiental United States. If you are bigger or smaller, the price is a little higher because I'll have to do some cipherin' to figger out what needs changin' on the pattern. If you want one custom fitted, it will also be a bit higher. If you live outside the US or in Alaska or Hawaii, the price will also vary.
I have dark brown, red brown, taupe, and light beige in the same faux suede picture.
The pictures don't do them nearly enought justice. Maybe more tomorrow in the sunshine.
Specifically Japanese attire like kimono, hakama, etc.
Well, it looks like the last big hurdle will be learing how to make tabi, at least for clothing specific.
I still want to learn bootery, geta, and armoring. Weird huh? The more stuff I learn to sew, the more I want to learn. I really love this work despite all the swearing. I'd do it day and night if I could stay awake that long.
The machine calls. I'll post when I've finished something enough for sales.
- Current Mood:creative
Got a new ergonomic keyboard and while it is comfortable as can be, the space bar is a little stiff and I feel like I'm learning to type all over again. I like it though.
So, about me. Well I make and sell costumes and such on ebay. So look for my handle jayla_beta over on ebay and see what I may have put up for auction. I'll post a new journal entry here when I post a new offering.
- Current Mood: excited
- Current Music:Rock 103